


Caught in the Riptide

by quinnovative



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Alex and Kelly will come later, Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established SuperCorp, F/F, Lillian Luthor mentioned - Freeform, SuperCorp, Trigger Warning: Eating Disorders
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-10
Updated: 2020-03-10
Packaged: 2021-03-01 04:46:53
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,076
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23089579
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/quinnovative/pseuds/quinnovative
Summary: Lena sees a headline in the tabloids and stumbles into old destructive habits, and maybe Kara doesn't understand, but she knows one thing's for sure: she'll always be on Lena's side.
Relationships: Alex Danvers & Kara Danvers, Alex Danvers & Lena Luthor, Alex Danvers/Kelly Olsen, Kara Danvers/Lena Luthor
Comments: 28
Kudos: 179





	Caught in the Riptide

**Author's Note:**

> Hi, before I say anything else about this fic, I want everyone to know there's a trigger warning for an eating disorder, so please please don't read this if it might affect you negatively. I know this is a sensitive, personal subject and am trying to handle it delicately and with respect for its severity. Please let me know if you think I need to change something or add a warning, etc. You can comment here or message me on twitter (@/powertodanvers). 
> 
> In this fic, Kara and Lena have been dating for a month or so. Alex and Kelly will come in later but they aren't in this chapter.
> 
> Lastly, my old computer broke so I've been transferring files and have come across lots of half-written supercorp stories so I'm hoping to go through and finish some of those.

She didn’t mean to see the headline, never pays those news outlets attention anyway, but Kara had been watching _Killing Eve_ in her free time which meant Lena caught snippets of the show—pieces of dialogue and different shots throughout the series and listened to Kara talk about Jodie Comer at least once after every episode. So, Lena, home from work before eight for the first time in weeks, decided to do some research—a quick Wikipedia search, some scrolling through social media, so she’d be more informed. For Kara. Obviously. 

The semi-reputable sources spiraled to less dignified sites with just a few clicks until Lena found herself looking at an online tabloid with false divorce claims, celebrity pregnancy speculations, and plastic surgery gossip plastered across the front page. Lena rolled her eyes and went to exit the page when she noticed her name in a headline. She paused, reading, as each word hit her like a punch to the gut. Against all her instincts screaming not to, she leaned into the story instead of pulling away. Clicking the link and scrolling further, to the text and the pictures and the related articles, the rankings, the paparazzi shots.

She couldn’t close her eyes even as they started to burn, couldn’t stop herself from clicking next, even as her hand grew damp and shaky. Another fist at her stomach as she stared on, when the door to her apartment swung open nearly half an hour later.

“I’m home,” Kara called out, pushing the door closed behind her.

Lena’s shoulders jumped up to her ears and she scrambled to close the tab open on her laptop.

Amidst taking off her coat, the flurry drew Kara’s eyes toward Lena’s movement. With one hand still twisted in the arm of her coat, Kara stepped closer.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you. What’re you looking at?” She asked with a light laugh, finally freeing herself from the fabric and tossing it over the back of the couch to deal with later.

She tried to catch a glimpse of what had Lena so engrossed she didn’t notice the door open, expecting a design report or data from a recent experiment, but only Lena’s desktop background was visible—a picture of them on vacation, so far out into the sea, only their heads were visible, bobbing out in the distance surrounded by teal waves and cream colored sailboats and a clear blue sky.

“You okay?” Kara lowered her hand to Lena’s shoulder, giving it a squeeze, and Lena dipped her head. A sheet of hair fell to block her face from Kara’s view as Lena swiped at her cheeks and sniffled.

Kara froze, her thumb in the middle of a stroke over Lena’s shoulder blade, and Kara leaned down to try to catch a glimpse of Lena’s face. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing,” Lena mumbled, and her voice was watery as she fumbled words through her mouth.

“It clearly isn’t nothing.”

Lena dropped her face into her hand. “Just forget this happened. It’s stupid.”

“Whoa, hey not if it makes you feel this way.” Kara sat on the armrest of the couch, threading a hand into Lena’s hair and scratching lightly as Lena tilted her head into Kara’s magnetic touch. “Please?”

Lena let out a cry masquerading as a sigh, restored the tab on her computer, pushed the screen in Kara’s direction and looked the other way.

A second passed and heat flared across Lena’s face, skin burning as she knew Kara was reading the last headline: Lena Luthor’s weight gain nightmare on display as she spills out of bathing suit

The words appeared in front of Lena even with her eyes tethered to a spot on the wall across the room, etched into her brain, reverberating through her head with a slurry of other headlines and past comments.

Lena knew below the yellow bold letters were pictures of herself on the beach with Kara, and beside Kara’s perfect abs, Lena’s body was scrutinized, a red circle around her stomach, her side, her thighs—Kara must be examining it now too, brows crinkled, lips pressed together as she saw all Lena’s flaws laid out and highlighted, dispersed across the internet for everyone to see and—

Lena bit her lip hard, drawing her chin toward her chest, tears spiking in the corner of her eyes when not a second later, Kara slammed the laptop closed.

Lena flinched, gaze darting toward Kara.

“No, you were right,” Kara said, shaking her head and pushing off the couch. “This _is_ stupid. Actually,” her hands curled into fists and a quick breath spun in and out of her lungs. “This is more than stupid, really, it’s—it’s infuriating. I mean this is what’s wrong with journalism, these writers have nothing better to do, have no merit so they go after women and they—they make up stories, they—”

“But they’re not wrong,” Lena whispered, eyes burning holes into the fabric of the couch. She pulled a pillow into her lap. The fragility of her voice dismantled Kara’s tirade in an instant. “Are they? About me. I mean, I have—I feel like…”

Kara whirled around, brows raised, and Lena did not move, every muscle in her body pulled taut as she looked past Kara.

Kara collapsed onto the couch beside Lena and the cushion jumped. “You don’t actually buy into this garbage, do you?”

Lena wet her lips; gaze trained on her hands as they tugged at the corner of the pillow. “It’s just Lillian used to… you know, she used to say things…”

“And since when has Lillian ever said something that was true?”

Lena bit her lip, her head dipped down and she couldn’t look at Kara.

“Hey,” Kara whispered and her hand trailed Lena’s jaw, brushed up toward her cheek. “Look at me.”

Lena shook her head and when she squeezed her eyes shut, looking down, a round tear fell from her cheek and splattered into her lap. “This is childish, I’m sorry,” Lena said, jamming fingers against her cheeks to catch her tears and pulling away from Kara, moving to stand instead.

“Lena, wait,” Kara said to Lena’s retreating form. “I want to talk to you.”

“Just leave it, Kara, I said I didn’t want to talk about it in the first place, so stop pushing!” Lena snapped, turning away and heading down the hall. “Let’s just forget this ever happened.”

Kara stood to follow then paused, watching Lena’s retreating form, feeling like she’d stepped into a storm. The slam of the bathroom door and the subsequent rush of water from the showerhead occupied Kara’s hearing and she dropped back onto the couch, staring at the bathroom door and the strip of yellow light at the floor and the shadow Lena’s feet cast against it.

She’d seen Lena shrug off hate mail and laugh at death threats, and didn’t understand why this was so different.

/

In the bathroom, Lena stared in the mirror, water falling behind her as it heated up. She unzipped her pants and her fingers fumbled with the line of buttons down her shirt. She didn’t want to look but she needed to know as the fabric dropped to the floor in a heap and her fingers traveled over her stomach, to her hips and her thigh, pinched the warm skin in places that were soft, bit her lip until it hurt.

Lena raised her gaze to the reflection in the mirror, looking through it toward the closet to her left. Under a stack of extra linens for the guest room and a thin layer of dust, was a scale. Untouched since she and Kara became something more, but it used to be the way she started every day.

When she breathed in, the air was already steamy, the mirror turning her reflection into a smear in the water vapor. She rubbed her forehead and tore her eyes away from the closet door in front of the sheets stacked above the scale, and stepped in the shower.

She was soaked head to toe in a minute and still swiping at hot, and she closed her eyes, leaned head against tile as Lillian’s voice took up residence in her head.

She’s six years old at a birthday party and Lillian swipes a paper plate out of her hands and dumps the slice of cake in the trash when the other parents aren’t looking. Lena’s standing there wide-eyed with her second bite on a fork halfway to her mouth. “You’ve had enough,” Lillian says and disappears to mingle with business associates. Every time Lena looks up, Lillian’s eyes are on her.

She’s nine years old and Lillian is pinching Lena’s side as she emerges from the bathroom of their hotel in the Maldives wearing a bathing suit. She’s fourteen returning from boarding school to Lillian looking her up and down, tutting. Lillian ordering for Lena at restaurants, hiring her a personal trainer at the Luthor mansion, telling Lena to “watch her figure,” commenting on every food choice—what and how much. Lillian buying Lena dresses for fundraisers a size too small, lying them on her bed and demanding that they fit in time for the event. Lillian ignoring the way her words coursed through Lena’s veins like poison, stealing the color from her skin.

“Shit!” Lena cursed, her foot throbbing against the tiles of the shower, a shampoo bottle rolling on the floor and her hand still curved around the space it’d occupied. She picked up the bottle, blinking soap out of her burning eyes and shaking her head.

With the bottle back on the shelf, she pushed out a breath, pinching the bridge of her nose and rushing through the rest of the shower.

/

Lena came out of the bathroom with her head down and her knuckles white around the towel in her hands. She tried to keep her gaze on the floor but couldn’t resist Kara’s pull, and the moment her eyes flickered up to meet bright blue, Lena’s heart cracked open.

Kara, lingering in the hall, opened her mouth to speak but Lena beat her to it.

“Kara,” she whispered, shaking her head, begging her not to bring it up again.

“I won’t.” Kara said and she took a step closer, her bare feet treading against the soft carpet running down the hall.

Lena looked back at her and neither of them were moving until Kara took another step toward Lena, and Lena inched forward and then Kara made it so Lena was in her arms, trying not to fix the red around Lena’s eyes or the puffiness of her cheeks, trying instead to just be there for Lena and hold her close.

She hugged her gently, Lena’s damp bare skin warm against Kara’s and sweetly soft beneath her touch as Kara squeezed her tighter and Lena took a deep breath with her body encircled in Kara’s arms and Kara could feel Lena’s diaphragm rise and fall against her body, smelling shampoo as she pressed a kiss to Lena’s shoulder.

“Are you okay?”

Lena shrugged back her shoulder. “I’m fine. Just overreacted a little,” she said and pulled on her best fake smile.

The day in the picture of the them on the beach, plastered across the website had been one of her favorite days—a place she could escape to in board meetings or long nights, closing her eyes and feeling the sun paint heat across her skin, the ocean cool and lapping at her ankles, Kara’s body warm against hers and their hands hung between them, sand on their fingertips. But now the memory came with headlines and red circles and comments that cut like a knife, the poison of Lillian’s words claiming that day, too.

As Lena and Kara were sprawled on the couch, half-asleep that night, Kara’s phone rang, calling Supergirl into the DEO. She kissed Lena’s temple and told her to get some sleep and not wait up. Lena nodded; eyes half lidded as a blur of red departed from her balcony.

Sitting up, Lena rubbed her eyes and shuffled through the blankets to find the remote and turn off the TV. In the bathroom, with a toothbrush in her hand, Lena looked toward the closet again. She spit and rinsed her mouth. The closet door groaned, and her fingers streaked through dust. She paused, her hand shaky at her side, and pulled out the scale.

**Author's Note:**

> I've missed you all, take care of yourselves!<3


End file.
